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From 1941 - 2003

To my dearest Aunt Hellen who passed away peacefully on 27th Jul 2003 : You were a health conscious, thrifty person. You not only cared for your family, friends, but also the sick and ill as a nurse. I am sure you have touched the hearts of many during the course of your life, and it is so decided by God that you'll join Him in Heaven at this moment. Gone, are the pain and suffering. It is indeed a time to celebrate. The time we all look forward to, and that is to be with God. Why did God choose to take you away from us now? We as His children, will not understand. Just like a child, who has something taken away by his parents. He does not understand. But God has plans for all of us, and when the time comes to meet the Lord, it should be a joyous occasion. However we, as a family, have lost a mother, a daughter, a wife, an aunt, a sister. Seperation is always painful, and the only way to get on with life, is to draw strength from the Lord. I am glad, that you did not suffer much during your final moments of your life. You were brave, and embraced the fact that your time on earth is drawing to an end. It also serves a reminder to us, that we should be prepared to meet the Lord anytime. That eternal life does exist after death. Each and everyone of us shows our love and affection in different ways. Though you have left us, you'll know that we were there to say our final goodbyes. As a family. Your friends were there. The church leader spoke of the time he saw how happy you and your husband, Uncle Wee were during an outing to Pulau Ubin. My mom said you are a strong person and I do not deny that one bit. Though it may not seem apparent, I miss the times you came over, made mee siam. Played mahjong. A simple gathering. In the photo above, the one I chose among all the other photos, was of you holding me when I was 4 months old. It seems kinda weird..but perhaps pictures help jolt memory.. I have kept this lot of pictures and whenever I go through them, I seem to remember that trip to McDonalds..somewhere at the back of my memory. You know Aunt Hellen, it is true indeed we have so much to say, that remains unsaid. So much to do, yet remain undone. But He knows. And I know, you know too. We mourn over your departure, yet are comforted by the words from the pastor that indeed, you have merely left for Heaven before us. That you no longer have to bear with the pain and suffering that exists in this world. I felt comforted, though sadness did creep in as we sang hymm after hymm. You may have left, but you will not be forgotten. The Aunt Hellen that I know, will always remain in my heart. The hymm, Amazing Grace was chosen by your husband as an opening hymm. It would be the hymm that I'll give to you too.

Amazing Grace
Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
and mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

Though I have never said this to you, but I love you. Till we meet again...till we meet again..

To my readers : First of all, thank you for taking time to read. I felt that I had to write something. I had to do this. The comments above may change as time goes on, for I wrote whatever that flowed out of my mind. There will be more...As for the photo in case you are asking, indeed the little baby's me. It is the fondest picture of me and Aunt Hellen. She passed away peacefully on the 27th of July 2003 from a recurrent gastric cancer. She had an undefined cancer prior to this, and it gave her trouble sometime this year. Follow ups suggested she only had gallstones and no immediate treatment was done. She went through her daily life, bearing the pain I am sure, day by day till the day she got admitted after her system rejected food and she vomitted. She never ate a thing after that. She could not. Anything taken orally will be purged out. Day by day we saw how her energy slipped away and how frail she became. At age 62, she looked like a lady in her 40s. She never really changed much from the picture above. She was not exactly the closest to me but coming in terms with her death wasn't easy at all. It has been a long time since I last wept. Tears, which came from love. And sorrow. I am happy that she has now found peace in Heaven, and that has helped, and is still helping me get through this. "Be strong" is what I tell myself. I know we will never get used to not having her around, but life goes on. We have so many people to live for. More importantly, we have ourselves to live for. For those of you who are sad, for whatever reason, and can seem to find no reason to carry on living, remember when all else fails you, it is your life. You live for yourself. The cremation took place after we paid our last respects. Now that my Aunt has gone to Heaven, and another book of life closed, it is time to carry on. This I will..

Updated : 29/07/2003

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